Halcyon Days

Earlier this past week, a report was released that should have made every person in this country — especially those in the “Deep South” — think twice before piling on more of anything on his or her dinner plate.

However, I doubt the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation’s newest findings on the ongoing rise of obesity in the USA scared anybody off any beer, hot dogs, fried chicken and chocolate layer cake over the Fourth of July weekend.  I doubt there were any cookouts canceled due to concern about all the calories, fat, and cholesterol that would be running through the ol’ digestive tract and into the bloodstream.

The numbers are that scary, though.  Mississippi, after becoming the nation’s first state with an adult obesity rate of more than 30 percent, still tops that infamous list but now has company in Alabama, Tennessee, and West Virginia above the 30 percent bar.  More than one in four adults are obese in 31 states.  Worse yet are the statistics on the number of overweight and obese children.  Mississippi’s rate is 44.4 percent.  That is just a bit less than every other child in that state being either overweight or clinically obese.

But, lo and behold, what was among the “sports” headlines this weekend? Some guy set a new record in a hot dog speed eating contest.  Forgive me if I fail to rouse up the appropriate level of awe.

Speed eating and the gluttonous kooks who make it their quest for glory are just more reminders of how callous an attitude we as a nation have adopted toward food in general.  If we can’t have more of something, it’s a crying shame, and God forbid if we actuallly have to take time to chew, taste, and savor.  Sex isn’t the only arena of modern living where the mantra of “Size matters” is taken to heart.

Not everyone overweight or obese is in that situation due to overeating or the constant consumption of junk food.  Many are and our habits and atittudes toward food apparently are not changing, which could explain why no state had a significant decline in its obesity rate from a year ago.

In the midst of all this, however, we celebrate a new king of hot dog swallowing.  It is a ludicrous spectacle, speed eating competitions, in light of what more and faster is doing to so many people and doing to an already inadequate and inaccessible health care system.  It is shameful when posted next to some of the words and images revealed by my friend and former newspaper colleague Philip Holsinger, who sees many adults and children in Nicaragua for whom one hot dog would be a unprecedented feast.

Still, I don’t expect to hear much better news when the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation’s report for 2010 comes out.  I don’t expect a decline in hot dog-eating contests, pizza-eating championships, and sushi-eating smackdowns, either.

Last night, while enjoying Sci Fi channel’s Twilight Zone marathon, I couldn’t help but appreciate the irony that can be found in the final scene of “To Serve Man” in which a Kanamit urges the spaceship passenger-soon-to-be-dinner Michael Chambers to eat.  “We wouldn’t want you to lose any weight,” the Kanamit chides.

The Kanamits would not have trouble finding choice morsels these days.